“Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.” (Possibly Alfred Hitchcock)
A few months back, I had the “brilliant” idea to start expanding my “brand” into social media. I wanted to add content creation to my repertoire, including: posting here, on my website’s blog, on LinkedIn, Spoutible, Mastodon, Facebook, and even occasionally on Instagram. Just writing down that list gives me a headache.
Why did I decide to do this? Because, if you buy into the world of late-stage-capitalism, and hope to sell books or find clients or be seen as “successful” then you must embrace the numbers.
You must think about things like:
Building a huge follower list (low numbers are meaningless).
Bring in 100s of leads.
Work zillions of hours
Charge lots and lots of $$$$$$$$
Get an abundance of shares and interactions
Often the way people achieve this is very dramatic.
As someone whose focus has always been on building relationships, encouraging creativity, and finding one’s own path, this focus on numbers is disturbing in so many ways. At the same time, I recognize that this is the reality in which we live, as much as I would like to change it.
It’s either embrace numbers or be unable to survive.
Some choice, isn’t it? But does that mean that the only path to success requires going viral with numbers so high that they lose all meaning? Is overdramatizing life the only way to achieve that success?
Let’s explore.
Diving into the Social Media Cesspool
I decided to dip my toe into the deep, wide, sometimes murky, sometimes clear waters of YouTube. If I wanted to create my own work, I needed to understand what’s out in the world. But TikTok felt uncomfortable (face it, I’m way older than that demographic) and Instagram felt awkward (I’m more about words than pictures). So, YouTube it was.
To me, the advantage of YouTube is that many creators there compile and create reaction videos on the content from other social media platforms, so I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.
I admit, I was immediately sucked in. I spent hours—when I wasn’t working, writing, reading, or doing other life activities—jumping from video to video, from genre to genre, from laughter to shock to anger to tears to occasional screams of disbelief.
I’ve observed a few things:
People love drama: Whether it’s watching “Karens” get their comeuppance, examining the latest celebrity scandal or gossip, laughing at bridezillas, witnessing people getting arrested, or delving into unsolved mysteries and macabre crimes, viewers seem to flock to the creators who focus on these topics.
The bigger you become, the harder you fall: It seems that people love witnessing big name “influencers” crash and burn. It also seems, the bigger the influencer, the more susceptible they become to thinking that rules do not apply to them, and that they are entitled to special treatment. In that way, they cause their own downfall. Of course, there are several big names that are not like this. There are also some who think their fame and influence is much bigger than they actually are—these are the ones who think they are the Main Characters of the world, and it’s disturbing.
Virality often equates with toxicity: Again, this is not always true, but many times people go viral because they have posted something so toxic, or so irredeemably short-sighted, that the YouTubers who produce reaction videos go wild. The toxic posts get re-shared, analyzed, ridiculed, questioned, and challenged, which often raises the number of views on the original post, as well as on the people analyzing those posts.
Some people will do anything for views: I don’t know when society broke. I don’t know when we stopped caring about other people in our midst. The number of creators who film in public places, expecting the world to stop for them, is absolutely appalling. These are also people who will: pull pranks, intentionally provoke strangers, take dangerous risks, dance in the middle of airplanes, attack others, and act like they can do no wrong. I also include in this list: the manosphere: toxic MAGA: extremists of any type (on both sides of the political spectrum; or, anyone who knowingly posts content with the intention of “owning the libs,” putting women in their place, or telling people that if they don’t believe in Jesus or live life according to the content creator’s views they will burn hell. I’m sure there are plenty of creators who believe these things, but part of me believes that many of them push buttons with intention.
Yes, I am aware that I am revealing my own biases here. I also recognize that there can be toxicity on both extremes of the political spectrum. The truth, however, is that creators with these extreme ideas, who insist on being the main character or forcing others to think as they do, are often the most toxic and cruel.
Toward Developing a Healthier Relationship with Social Media
My observations are depressing. And it’s made me rethink the why’s and how’s of content creation. To that end, I have created a list of guidelines for myself, that could also benefit others as social media becomes even more of a focal point in society.
Create content because you enjoy creating, not for any other reason. If you don’t enjoy it, don’t do it.
Be authentic in your content creation. Here’s a video I made that explains what I mean by authenticity.
Create content that you want to watch.
Don’t worry about the numbers, focus on the quality of your viewers and your content. Sure, I dream of being able to monetize someday; but building community is more important to me.
Interact with your viewers, but also maintain boundaries. Stay safe. Safety should be a priority for both you and your audience.
Ignore trolls. Do not respond. Block if necessary.
Celebrate the creators whose work puts good into the world. (I plan on doing some react videos on the quality content makers I follow—the ones who actually give me hope as they reflect on social media content).
Take time off to live in the real world.
Be kind to yourself when something you are proud of does not get much attention.
KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid) This applies both to the creation of the video itself, and the content. Sure, drama has its place, and can be fun. And of course, you want to cut out the “dull bits.” But, sometimes authentic and simple storytelling holds enough drama without the toxicity of scandal, gossip, and cruelty.
I would love to here your thoughts on this. Am I missing anything? Are my observations completely wrong? Comment below, and let’s get this discussion started.
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